I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction

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For those who feel suicidal, alone, destructive, broken, tired, lost, depressed, existential anxiety, pessimistic, detached from reality, sadly in love and the meaninglessness of human existence. This book is for you and me and for everyone who’s searching for survival, healing, recovery, and understanding.

I hope this poetry collection gives you the hope that you deserve. I hope this poetry collection brings out the dreamer that’s within your tender soul. I hope this poetry collection touches your heart in some way and encourage you to live your life despite the suffering because suicide is not a choice and there’s nothing selfish about wanting to end everything and all I’m simply saying is that you deserve to be okay and sometimes that’s better than happiness. 

Truthfully, I myself am not yet completely recovered, and I still feel suicidal sometimes, and it’s a very dark place to be in and I want you to know that I created this collection inside that very dark place and I still want to live because I choose to believe that I am loved even if I don’t matter much at all as a person. I choose to believe that I am loved and that matters. 🙂

I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction is available on Amazon. For every review, I promise to dedicate a piece of writing to you. 🙂

You can purchase the book here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1721578641 

For Goodreads users, you can leave a rating/review here: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40603073-i-am-the-architect-of-my-own-destruction 

I am deeply grateful for your support in this dark piece of my soul. 🙂

I wish you all hope, love, and healing. ✿ 

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Self-Awareness

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Dear human, it is already late. Where have you been? All the other flowers in the garden have already started blooming. But wait, hold on—do not despair. Do not be too quick to self-loathing, self-pity and self-hate. See this moment instead as an opportunity to see your most powerful blessing—the wisdom of knowing who you truly are at the root of all your patience and suffering. For it is in that moment when you truly know who you are can you then understand the courage it will take for you to bloom towards what you truly desire.

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when you bloom
doesn’t define who you are.

 
a person can bloom
at the age of 17, 35 or 73 and still 
be left empty,
not good enough,
and wanting for more.

 
my darling, 
carefully listen to these words:

 
‘where you bloom
is what truly defines who you are.’

 
that place in your life 
where there is an abundance of joy.

 
that place in your life
where there is a handful of purpose.

 
you can bloom in kindness.

 
you can bloom in service 
to a cause that you truly believe
will make this world a much better place.

 
you can bloom in friendship
and you can bloom in the truth which is 
that from the very first day god planted you into 
this planet you were already made beautiful and whole.

 
it was simply the day 
that something or someone made you feel like 
life is a race that persuaded you into thinking otherwise.

The Healer’s Life

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Be a healer. Be a shoulder for someone to cry on every once in a while. Listen to what their heart has to say and offer them your unconditional tenderness, support, and sympathy as you calmly prepare them a cup of tea. Tell them “It will eventually be okay” as you little by little restore their energy back to the serenity of love.

Small Packages

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Recovery comes in small packages. It finds you and gives you little things to hold on to when you’re feeling hopeless. Like for the days you practiced gratefulness, you notice that you’re slowly starting to appreciate where you are in the here and now—you become more aware of the beautiful things that are already within you that will help you to grow. Like for the nights you practiced self-care, you notice that you wake up more early and feel less tired—you become more awake to the things that are genuinely important to you and the ones that are simply a waste of your precious time. Progress happens when you least expect it to happen and when you become mindful that it is happening, moment by moment, day after day, from sunrise to sunset, then you will be surprised by the miracle of how far you’ve actually come and how you should always keep moving forward.