I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction

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For those who feel suicidal, alone, destructive, broken, tired, lost, depressed, existential anxiety, pessimistic, detached from reality, sadly in love and the meaninglessness of human existence. This book is for you and me and for everyone who’s searching for survival, healing, recovery, and understanding.

I hope this poetry collection gives you the hope that you deserve. I hope this poetry collection brings out the dreamer that’s within your tender soul. I hope this poetry collection touches your heart in some way and encourage you to live your life despite the suffering because suicide is not a choice and there’s nothing selfish about wanting to end everything and all I’m simply saying is that you deserve to be okay and sometimes that’s better than happiness. 

Truthfully, I myself am not yet completely recovered, and I still feel suicidal sometimes, and it’s a very dark place to be in and I want you to know that I created this collection inside that very dark place and I still want to live because I choose to believe that I am loved even if I don’t matter much at all as a person. I choose to believe that I am loved and that matters. 🙂

I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction is available on Amazon. For every review, I promise to dedicate a piece of writing to you. 🙂

You can purchase the book here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1721578641 

For Goodreads users, you can leave a rating/review here: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40603073-i-am-the-architect-of-my-own-destruction 

I am deeply grateful for your support in this dark piece of my soul. 🙂

I wish you all hope, love, and healing. ✿ 

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The bigger picture

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I know that a forest is made up of individual trees, but when I look at a forest, all I see is a forest. And that’s pretty much the same when it comes to my outlook in life. I just look at the bigger picture and summarize everything I see with pure feeling and intuition. Because I learned that when I try to make sense with tiny details of information—it kills me. And it’s really a challenge for me to live in a world filled with so much logic and explanation that it kills my own morals and perspectives in life—which gives life for me less meaning and beauty whenever I am faced with its harsh realities. Because sometimes I forget that bad things happen in this world whenever I think of it as a place filled with love and beauty.

Loyalty

The sky is full of stars

Loyalty; it’s a three-syllable word for “Hey, there. I know that you snore and kick me while you’re asleep and you hate me for leaving my clothes everywhere and how I can be a total asshole when my allergy rhinitis is acting up and how neither of us knows what we want for dinner and when we do know it’s you wanting Italian and me wanting Chinese and for fucks sake we’ve watched The Notebook for more than a hundred times already and maybe there are thousands of people out there who are much cleanly and have better tastes in movies but you’re the only person I want to spend the rest of my full moons with.”

ode to travelers

Travelers (1)

pay attention
to the conversations you have
with your soul when you are traveling
alone.

those are the most 
important conversations you will have 
on this earth as you wander the paths of a city
unknown.

to help you remember
and to help you understand
once you get home of all the things you have already
sown.