I’m going to die one day. And that fact alone should force me to live my life to the fullest. But I’m the opposite way around. I want to die because I am consistently eaten up by nothingness.
—Confessions of a Wallflower, page 69
Only a few people know what it feels like to be artistically broken hearted. Not being good enough of a writer or a painter or a musician. Or not being able to catch a break and being forced to do something else that is economically stable. And it’s hard. Because the life of a creative is all about expression. And without having to be happy in what you love to do best is a nightmare. It truly is a nightmare.
Read the book that’s best for you.
If you’re living with depression, read a novel about depression. If you’re heartbroken, read a novel about unrequited love. If you’re feeling suicidal or hopeless, read a depressing poetry collection, and in a weird way, it’ll give you some hope. And that’s what literature is all about, understanding and knowing that your pain, your suffering is universal.
- I am learning that I can never truly be perfect no matter how hard I try. Instead, I am learning that I can always be growing no matter how hard it is to do so when every single moment of every day is filled with doubts and irrational fears.
- I am learning that every negative thought that comes into my head is out of my control. What I do have control at is how I give them meaning.
- I am learning that exposing myself to my irrational fears is how I’ll get better.
- I am learning that change, no matter how scary it is, for me, is a good thing.
- I am learning that letting go of control and letting things be is the best thing that one can do at the end of the day.
- I am learning that there will be days when I’ll be stressed and not manage well but as the saying goes, “this too shall pass,” And I’ll just have to keep moving forward.
There are two kinds of sad people:
- The sad-happy
- The sad-angry
The sad-happy person wakes up in the morning knowing that the world isn’t a very beautiful and nice place but continues on towards the day knowing that things may go wrong and still be okay in the end.
That the space between what if and what still is is just life being what it truly is: filled with possibilities that may either forever destroy us or heal us.
The sad-angry person wakes up in the morning knowing that the world is a very beautiful and nice place and continues on towards the day expecting that things will turn out right and end up being disappointed at the end of the day.
That the reason for all the anxiety and anger and frustration lies in only one thing: being so hopeful. And the only way we can cope up with this kind of existence is accepting the fact that life at its very core is filled with disappointments, sorrows, and grief.
The balance between maintaining an even dose of pessimism and hope is the philosophical solution for the anxiety and misery that life gives.