christmas

Esprit de famille

breathe in and breathe out.
 
you are surrounded by loved
ones today.
 
the food is good, and there are
so many stories to tell.
 
this is the season of expression.
this is the season of loving kindness.
 
be in love with your family.
be in love with your own flesh and blood.
 
breathe in and breathe out.
breathe in and breathe out and smile and laugh.
 
you are happy at this moment and this moment is your life.

Exactly One Year Ago I Chose Life

Choose Life

Last year I was going through some really rough time. It was one of the worst suicidal moments in my life. I lost my sense of self. I was confused on who I really am as a person. I was just really lost and very depressed. I was vomiting, and I wasn’t eating because of all the anxiety that I was feeling. I was about to end it all by swallowing lots of paracetamol tablets, but I didn’t despite feeling like there was no end to the pain that I was feeling. 

What saved me was the thought that I can still express all my pain through poetry. And two books actually saved my life. It’s Kind of a Funny Story & All The Bright Places. Both novels inspired me to keep on living despite being suicidal and to share my story and my ideas when it comes to depression, self-love and healing on my debut poetry collection Confessions of a Wallflower

What also saved me was being with my family. That’s when I realized that there’s no greater anti-depressant than human love and connection. And that I am loved and that I will be missed if ever I did the act of suicide.

Thankfully I survived, and I am empowered to say that I am a suicide survivor.