You and I

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Promise me we’ll meet here in another life. You and I. This place where we first met and fell in love in this life. Promise me. We’ll meet here. You and I. Promise me. Promise me we’ll fall in love with each other again in another life. Promise me. You and I. Because one life is not enough for me to fall in love with you. Because one life is not enough for me to feel your love for me. Because one life is not enough for you and me. For you and I.

Confessions of a Wallflower, page 209

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Skinny Love

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The first time we held each other’s hands I thought that there would never come a time when we would let each other go. We walked beside the seashore as we found home in every step we took as the setting sun melted our hearts and made them feel again. It was amazing. To be lovely with the girl I love.

 
“Come on skinny love just last a year…” I would sing.

 
And then silence.
And then I’m crying, and you’re crying.
The sun has already drowned in the deep blue sea.

 

“Why are you crying?” you asked. “Say something.”
“I don’t know,” I replied. “My brain is just so fucked up that some days I want to kill myself and I become so depressed and this moment right now is so perfect that I want it to last forever.”

 

“Why are you crying?” I asked back. “Say something.”
“This relationship is completely dependent on you,” you replied. “When you’re happy, I’m happy. When you’re sad, I’m sad. And sometimes you push me away, and I just don’t know what to do with us every time that happens.”

 
“Shhh,” I kissed her on the cheeks. “I will fight for us by fighting my demons.”

escapism

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one more hour of a video game.
one more hour of a television series.

 
one more hour of reading a novel.
one more hour of writing a meaningless poem.

 
the world is a very terrible place.
and i procrastinate for we’re all just passing time.

 
my inability to face reality is killing me. 
and i procrastinate for we’re all just passing time.

 
another drag from my cigarette.
another anti-anxiety pill to numb me from my misery.

 
another song. another daydream.
but after the temporary my dark thoughts destroy me.

 
i simply just want to get away from myself. 
but it all ends when i finally stop running away from myself.

 
i am more than just my temporary distractions.
i am more than just a daydreamer sleeping inside a rabbit hole.

The Dreamer & The Traveler

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To me, love was about time.
To her, love was about adventure.

 

She would often bring me to places where we would gaze at the stars and laugh and cry about all our problems. I was the dreamer, and she was the traveler.

 

She didn’t know about my problem. There were days before I met her that I wouldn’t even leave the house for weeks for some unknown fear of judgment of the outside world. But all of that changed when I fell in love with her.

 

“Do you sometimes think that we’re all just passing time?” I asked her.
“What do you mean that we’re all just passing time?” she asked me back.

 

I don’t know, I replied. Like how every moment we feel is already memory. And we’re all just hurtling towards oblivion. Like none of it matters.

 

“Do you know why I love gazing at the stars so much?” she asked me.
“Why do you love gazing at the stars so much?” I asked her back.  

 

A million stars being so bright that I’m no longer afraid of the darkness of the night, she replied. Like there’s nothing in the world that I should fear. Not even loving you, she added.

 

And then I kissed her under a million twinkling stars that my fear of passing time began to melt away. At that moment I understood that forever could be measured in just a few seconds as her fear of the darkness began to melt away.