I Am Just A Dreamer

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I like to close my eyes sometimes and dream of the future.

 

I wake up one day, and I am mentally healthy. That I have won my battle against my mental illness. That things don’t bother me that much anymore. Like the butterfly effect, passing time, the number eight and thinking that I’m make-believe.

 

I wake up one day, and I just do the things that I do. I write the books that I want to write. I post the blog posts that I want to post. I run regularly under the deep blue sky while the sun shines on me like I am a flower that has survived wilting.

 

I wake up one day, and I’m just happy because I am healed, and I am living like it means something. I wake up one day, and I don’t even think about killing myself because life is full of possibilities that don’t scare me because every path in life is the right path. And if alternate realities exist then so what? That won’t stop me from trying to live this prime existence of mine fully.

 

I like to close my eyes sometimes and dream of the future. I like to open them not without a sense melancholy that I will eventually get better.

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October 3, 2017

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It’s six o’ clock in the evening, and I’m thinking of her. How she heals me. How she makes me happy. How she makes me smile. How she makes me feel like life’s worth living.

There’s a setting sun landing on a leaf that reminds me of her. That reminds me of a love. A hope. A joy. A peace that I’ll be dying valiantly knowing that I have loved and made memories with this woman whom I greatly shared my sufferings with.

I couldn’t thank the universe enough for bringing this woman into my life. She was created to be kissed, loved, and given flowers every day. And that’s probably all I can do while I still have time.

a prayer

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i pray.

 
i pray that i will recover from this illness.
i pray that i will feel the joy, peace, and love
that i’ve been longing for.

 
i pray.

 
i pray that i will have the strength to better myself.
i pray that i will never lose hope in times of despair.

 
i pray.

 
i pray that i will heal every single day of the rest of my life.
i pray that i will experience less pain and more pleasure every
single day of the rest of my life.

 
i pray.

 
i pray that i will think more rationally.
i pray that i will feel that the things around me are real and not
an illusion or a dream.

 
i pray.

 
i pray that i will soon get well. 
i pray for the belief that i will soon get well.

 
amen.
amen.
amen.

A Picture of My Book II

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Thank you stouf73 from the United States for taking a picture of my book ❤ It means a lot. ✿ Wishing you hope, love, and healing. ✨

Confessions of a Wallflower my debut poetry collection is available here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1542396859 

September 18, 2017

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Dear Self,

 

I’m going to tell you a little secret: healing requires pain. That’s why when you’re feeling so anxious that’s when you know that you are healing through the innate human ability of adaptation. In simple terms: you’re going to get used to the anxiety that you’re feeling and move on with your life.

 

Because you eventually have to heal.

Because you eventually have to recover.

Because you eventually have to live.

 

Love always,

Self