Skinny Love

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The first time we held each other’s hands I thought that there would never come a time when we would let each other go. We walked beside the seashore as we found home in every step we took as the setting sun melted our hearts and made them feel again. It was amazing. To be lovely with the girl I love.

 
“Come on skinny love just last a year…” I would sing.

 
And then silence.
And then I’m crying, and you’re crying.
The sun has already drowned in the deep blue sea.

 

“Why are you crying?” you asked. “Say something.”
“I don’t know,” I replied. “My brain is just so fucked up that some days I want to kill myself and I become so depressed and this moment right now is so perfect that I want it to last forever.”

 

“Why are you crying?” I asked back. “Say something.”
“This relationship is completely dependent on you,” you replied. “When you’re happy, I’m happy. When you’re sad, I’m sad. And sometimes you push me away, and I just don’t know what to do with us every time that happens.”

 
“Shhh,” I kissed her on the cheeks. “I will fight for us by fighting my demons.”

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The Dreamer & The Traveler

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To me, love was about time.
To her, love was about adventure.

 

She would often bring me to places where we would gaze at the stars and laugh and cry about all our problems. I was the dreamer, and she was the traveler.

 

She didn’t know about my problem. There were days before I met her that I wouldn’t even leave the house for weeks for some unknown fear of judgment of the outside world. But all of that changed when I fell in love with her.

 

“Do you sometimes think that we’re all just passing time?” I asked her.
“What do you mean that we’re all just passing time?” she asked me back.

 

I don’t know, I replied. Like how every moment we feel is already memory. And we’re all just hurtling towards oblivion. Like none of it matters.

 

“Do you know why I love gazing at the stars so much?” she asked me.
“Why do you love gazing at the stars so much?” I asked her back.  

 

A million stars being so bright that I’m no longer afraid of the darkness of the night, she replied. Like there’s nothing in the world that I should fear. Not even loving you, she added.

 

And then I kissed her under a million twinkling stars that my fear of passing time began to melt away. At that moment I understood that forever could be measured in just a few seconds as her fear of the darkness began to melt away.

Currently Listening To: All I Want For Christmas Is You by Michael Bublé

Last year you told me that Christmas was your favorite season back when you were six years old. How you believed in Santa Claus and all his reindeers and factory elves every time you spotted a gift near your Christmas tree or inside your Santa sock.

But one day you learned that Santa wasn’t real because you caught your father sneak your gift under the Christmas tree. And that ruined all the joy and excitement that Christmas used to give you. The thing that people call the Christmas Spirit.

But you were lucky you know? Because I never believed in Santa as a kid because it was evident to me that he wasn’t real because what kind of person would have that kind of generosity? No one I thought.

And you promised me. You promised me that we’d meet this Christmas. And you didn’t. You actually came early. Three days early. Seeing you wearing a Santa hat as I opened the front door.

And we kissed under the mistletoe under a thousand stars under a moonlight and yet above everything including heaven because we were high in Christmas Spirit.

And I looked at you, and you’re real.

And you looked at me, and you’re six years old again.

Calculations (A Short Story)

Calculations

A Short Story About OCD

7 Am Obessive Compuslive Disorder

I always wake up at 7:00 am

But I make it a point that I get out of bed at 7:00:59 am

A second before the time reaches 7:01:00 am

This means the universe won’t punish me for being the lazy person that I am

 

So I go downstairs for breakfast

Skipping 2 stair steps at a time

This saves me 15 seconds of my existence

This means the universe would reward me for being a good steward of my time

 

So, as usual, I pour cereals at the blue bowl I use every Friday

I usually pour cereals for 3 seconds

But I’m in a good mood today, so I pour cereals for 4 more seconds, more good luck for me

I can use the extra 15 seconds I saved awhile ago to eat the extra 1 second of poured cereal

 

I shovel through my cereal like there’s no tomorrow

Munching on it three times before I swallow

3 seconds of poured cereal takes me 8 spoons to finish

4 seconds of poured cereal might take me 11 spoons to finish, and I was right like always

 

After breakfast, I wash the dishes for less than 30 seconds

I go and head upstairs to the bathroom, skipping 3 stair steps at a time

This saves me 20 seconds of my existence

This means the universe would reward me for being a good steward of my time

 

So, as usual, I head to the shower and choose the hot temperature like I always do

But I’m in a good mood today, so I choose the extra hot temperature like I rarely do

Little did I know it would hurt me and I feel the boiling water roasting through my flesh

But I wanted this since I’m in a good mood today but it hurts so bad, and I count to ten

 

1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7… 8… 9… 10…

GAAAAAH!

 

I twinge and quickly turn the temperature to cold like I never do

And this doesn’t feel right, it breaks my rule, it’s a sin, maybe it’s fun to sin once in awhile

The cold water did feel good after the sacrifice I’ve made since I’m in a good mood today

This could mean the universe would reward me for being such a persevering person

 

Time for my shower routine.

 

Hair: Wash. Wash. Wash.

Body: Scrub. Scrub. Scrub.

Face: Splash. Splash. Splash.

Teeth: Brush. Brush. Brush.

 

I like doing things three times, I strive for perfection.

 

I quickly get out of the bathroom like I always do

And it does feel right, it follows my rule, I’m forgiven of the sin I committed awhile ago

I use the blue towel I use every Friday

And I get ready for jogging

 

To Be Continued.

The Time Traveler (A Short Story)

The Time Traveler

The Time Traveler's Dream

The day before I first discovered time travel.

My wife killed herself.

 

I understand that she was struggling with depression.

And our marriage wasn’t working out.

And the kids weren’t happy.

 

It was maybe because of the significant amount of time I spent on building a time machine.

 

So to try to resolve all my inaccuracies and miscalculations.

I decided to travel back to the day I first met her.

Sucking me into a vortex of space and time.

 

It brought me back to December 19, 1999.

At our graduation ceremony.

At the university where we got our Ph.D. in Experimental Physics.

 

Surprisingly she was not with me, she was with this other guy.

She was so happy and cheerful with this other guy.

Unlike her sadness and doubt with me previously at this point of time.

 

This made me mad and confused.

 

So to once again try to resolve all my inaccuracies and miscalculations.

I decided to travel to the day she killed herself.

Sucking me into a vortex of space and time.

 

I thought maybe I could prevent her from killing herself.

Maybe I could tell her I’m sorry for all my imperfections.

For spending so much time on building a time machine.

 

But when I opened the door.

The house was empty.

The house was quiet.

 

No wife.

No kids.

And no time machine.

 

Why did I build the time machine in the first place?

What was I trying to prove?

What was I trying to discover?

 

Then it suddenly hit me.

 

Thinking tomorrow would be the day I first discover time travel.

And how that day would never happen in history.

 

Because on the day before I first discovered time travel.

On the day my wife killed herself in another alternate universe.

On the day I kill myself.

 

Was the day I first discovered the most startling discovery of my scientific career.

 

Without any hypothesis.

Without any experimentations.

Only a conclusion.

 

“That we were never meant to be.”

 

That space and time can never co-exist with the most powerful force in the universe.

 

Love.

Wallflowers (A Book of Poetry)

Wallflowers 

A Book of Poetry

Wallflowers (A Book of Poetry)

A short book of poetry combined with short stories about Dreaming, Nature, People, Faith, and their Inner Demons.

 

This is my first book published at Lulu Bookstore. You can buy it for only $2.99.

 

Please if you love my poems, please go to the link below and give it a 5-star rating plus a good review. I’ll be very grateful.

 

This is the first edition 🙂

 

Wallflowers (A Book of Poetry)