Recovery From OCD Rules (Effective September 30, 2017)

Butterflies

  1. There are no rules. This is a bar fight between my soul and my illness. Whatever it is that I need to do to deprive this doubtful beast of its food (compulsions) I will do.
  2. There are regulations, however. (see below)
  3. First, I will do frequent and consistent exposures. The pain coming from the anxiety will act as a sign that I am healing.
  4. Second, I will do recreational activities more such as bibliotherapy, writing therapy, film therapy, retail therapy, gaming therapy, etc. to reframe and refocus my mind on other things besides my obsessions.
  5. Third, I will not kill myself. I will try to innovate new tactics if I have to so that I can win this battle against this illness.
  6. Lastly, there will be no going back to old habits no matter how painful it would be. I need to heal somehow and recover before this year ends.
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The Chaos of Choice

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Cheeseburger or double cheeseburger? Coke or Pepsi? To travel Asia or Europe? To marry or not to marry? To have kids or not to have kids? To have a dog or not to have a dog? To exercise or not to exercise? To choose the career that I love or money? To read a book or not to read a book? To love myself or not to love myself? To rent a house or to buy a house? To quit or not to quit? To smile or not to smile? To be kind or to be right? To learn the guitar or the piano? Each choice feels like opening another reality. Each choice feels like opening another door. What the fuck is the difference with all of these choices? How do we know if we’re still in control of who we really are as a person with free will when in an alternate reality we’ve made the exact opposite choice of what we did. How can we make the perfect choice to have more control and be the best versions of ourselves?