If I fail to be happy with myself that doesn’t mean I’m a negative person. I’m kind, I’m warm, and I’m aware of the places in me that needs a little more work. I just get a little bit sad sometimes for no reason at all, but you still can be happy with me. I’m still me despite my depression.
I’m still loved despite my depression and that alone keeps me alive.
before I closed my eyes
my heart said, “I can’t wait
to love myself to another day.”
I woke up and felt my heart
“What happened?” I asked it gently.
“The same thing that always happens,” it replied.
“You teach me how to love myself by destroying myself
and now I’m breaking.”
When I’m tired, anxious and mentally exhausted I turn to silence, night air, poetry, and the stars. Some simple, sad things to remind me that at the end of the day, what really matters is the peace I hold within myself to be well rested for the next morning.
Fatherhood is not synonymous with workaholism, it’s simply having enough money to send your kids to school, going to the movies every weekend and keeping the refrigerator full enough to have three meals a day. Fatherhood is not a right to force your children to believe in a religion you want them to follow as they mature, it’s simply teaching your children to be respectful, honest and kind. Fatherhood is not a privilege to punish your sons for not being masculine enough, it’s simply accepting that some boys have a strong feminine side that makes them write poetry, cry over sunsets and one day turn into men with softness in their hearts. These are the things my dear father had to learn for so many years, and I can somehow see that it has slowly turned his heart into a garden—gently reminding me sometimes that he has changed.
Finding myself doesn’t always mean that I’ve lost myself. Self-discovery is when I remind myself of the simple things that bring purpose into my life and practicing gratitude at the end of the day. Like how the sun rises every morning and sets every evening, self-discovery for me is a daily thing.