I am tired of pain. This thing that’s necessary, inevitable and leaves too many scars. I am tired of being so sensitive to anything that triggers my wounds to bleed.
Some days I want to carry my brother’s sadness, anger and storms just so he can reconnect with good friends, not worry about the moods and feel at home in his body again. I want to see him heal from borderline and live a life with less suffering, less pain, and more hope in himself again. I want him to be happy, meaningful and strong for him to be friends with his mind again.
I know that a forest is made up of individual trees, but when I look at a forest, all I see is a forest. And that’s pretty much the same when it comes to my outlook in life. I just look at the bigger picture and summarize everything I see with pure feeling and intuition. Because I learned that when I try to make sense with tiny details of information—it kills me. And it’s really a challenge for me to live in a world filled with so much logic and explanation that it kills my own morals and perspectives in life—which gives life for me less meaning and beauty whenever I am faced with its harsh realities. Because sometimes I forget that bad things happen in this world whenever I think of it as a place filled with love and beauty.
That is all I need in a friend: someone who I can be comfortably sad with.