choice

choice

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i.

 
there are days
when my stars
align just for me.

 
my inner cosmos
telling me to write
about the pain.

 
my inner cosmos
telling me to expand
the universe within.

 
ii.

 
there are days
when my stars
collapse.

 
i am made of pure
darkness.

 
i am made of pure
anxiety—

 
terrified of not seeing
the sun again.

 
iii.

 
there are days
when my stars
rise—

 
like the infinite suns
that they are.

 
illuminating my being.

Skinny Love

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The first time we held each other’s hands I thought that there would never come a time when we would let each other go. We walked beside the seashore as we found home in every step we took as the setting sun melted our hearts and made them feel again. It was amazing. To be lovely with the girl I love.

 
“Come on skinny love just last a year…” I would sing.

 
And then silence.
And then I’m crying, and you’re crying.
The sun has already drowned in the deep blue sea.

 

“Why are you crying?” you asked. “Say something.”
“I don’t know,” I replied. “My brain is just so fucked up that some days I want to kill myself and I become so depressed and this moment right now is so perfect that I want it to last forever.”

 

“Why are you crying?” I asked back. “Say something.”
“This relationship is completely dependent on you,” you replied. “When you’re happy, I’m happy. When you’re sad, I’m sad. And sometimes you push me away, and I just don’t know what to do with us every time that happens.”

 
“Shhh,” I kissed her on the cheeks. “I will fight for us by fighting my demons.”