If you love someone and they also love you back, then you must be very real with them. Be honest. Be authentic with what you really would like the relationship to be. There’s no reason to put on some masks for they already love you for who you are. So what is it that you want? Is it affection? Is it deep discussions? Is it showing interest in intellectual pursuits? Is it space and alone time? Adventure? Acknowledgment and appreciation for the kind things that you do? Think about it. Think about it and breathe and then decide. And then go get the love that you truly, truly deserve.
You’re not an awful person for creating a space from the ones you love. You’re a darling for protecting your energy when you’ve reached a certain limit of absorbing everything that they want you to understand. You’re like an emotional sponge—a natural counselor, and sometimes you just need a place of your own to rest, recharge and release every single feeling that you’re very tired of carrying.
There are feelings inside her that don’t exist in me. She’s a very logical person, and I’m a very playful person. At first, I felt like we were alike but turns out we’re complete opposites—she thinks through things while I feel through things.
She says that I’m too young and idealistic to love her and perhaps that’s true. I am a child when it comes to love. I feel things like we’re soul mates or we both like watching the stars together and fuck that explains a lot why we’re so drawn to each other because of destiny and all that stuff.
She once asked me what love meant to me, and I said that love is the only thing that makes life less meaningless. And I held her hand and kissed it and then looked at her in the eye. “This is love,” I said quietly. And I held her face and kissed her on the forehead and then looked at her in the eye once more. “This is love,” I said again quietly.
“Love is just an illusion,” she whispered in my ear, and we made love just with our lips, and it felt like a dream for the first time that we were together. It all felt like a dream to me, but I knew that she was the one that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I just can’t explain why I had to let her go when she was the only girl who made me feel something so absolute.
“Love is just an illusion,” the very last words that she said to me when I walked out of her not so fucked up life. The very last words that brought me to an understanding that maybe love is nothing more than chemicals released in the brain that never does last forever like any kind of drug. But the thing about love is that it fucks you up eventually, and you want more of it. In good morning texts, during penetration, flowers and wandering the world together and forever.
Love is just an illusion, but it does last if you really do believe in it.
She can be sad even when she’s happy. She can be lonely even when she’s loved. She felt things deeply. It was both her blessing and her curse.
There are two types of dreamers: the first is very sensitive but creative and the second is very secretive but adaptive, and I think I am capable of being both.