June 19, 2017

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How can I fix my mind if my mind is where the problem is in the first place? It’s getting hard to live day by day when all I could think of is my death. Along with a negative stream of irrational thoughts that haunts me minute after minute after minute.

Do I have free will? Does the butterfly effect cause alternate realities to exist where I could’ve been perfect? Is choosing death the ultimate real choice to freedom?

I’ve been walking around my room back and forth back and forth several times a day feeling very restless and angry. Contemplating about my death. Smashing ice cubes and hangers on to the wall. Arranging and rearranging things. Shouting occasionally.

It isn’t enough that I am understood by the people who love me. I am suffering and there’s no cure to my thought process. Some days I don’t even feel like anything exists. Some days I don’t even feel like I’m the real me.

I am powerless. I am flight. I am panic. I am anxiety. I am a soul that would eventually be set free from this world.

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The World We Built (An Oratorical Piece)

The World We Built

The World We Painted

The life of a human being comes from a set of callings.

Some are called to live with something to leave.

Some are called to live with nothing to leave.

 

The truth is, everybody has something to leave when they leave.

The world they built.

 

People build their own worlds to change what they see in this world.

But people don’t see it.

And they still ask questions like who’s going to change this cruel world?

 

Hey!

It’s not a question of who’s going to change this world.

It’s a question of who’s going to build this world.

 

Don’t we see that mother earth gives birth to new worlds every day?

Worlds that comes from ideas, perceptions, and dreams!

Worlds that comes from dreamers!

 

I am a dreamer.

A dreamer who dreams of a world that is free to dream.

A dreamer who dreams of a world that is free to build their dreams.

 

Because the only way to change this world is to build the next one.