A Love That Always Feels Like Autumn

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The weather is getting cold
and she’s sitting near the furnace—

Reading sad books,
as she unties her tied shoelace.

A love that always feels like autumn—
is the feeling she always gave me.

Dead with the hope of being born again—
her kiss on my neck that drives me crazy.

The way she drinks her coffee
is one of the sexiest things I like to see.

The way she says my name
is the thing that convinces me that it’s meant to be.

A love that always feels like autumn—
is the feeling she always gave me.

Dead with the hope of being born again—
the taste of laughter in her mouth that makes her lovely.

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Poetry Collection Copy

Book 1

I wrote this collection 2 years ago.

Message me at juansendizon@gmail.com if you want a pdf copy in exchange for an honest Goodreads review. 

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40603073-i-am-the-architect-of-my-own-destruction 💙

Thank you so much. 💙

August 9, 2018

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I understand actually, what it’s like to feel like the only way to understand the pain is to self-destruct. Real family or friends aren’t there all the time for me and most of the time loneliness consumes me when they’re nowhere to be found. That’s why there’s cigarettes, drugs, and alcohol because sometimes I don’t have that option that others have which is to reach out. But when I finally have the chance to talk to someone I don’t. I have a problem with trusting people, and I love sleeping pills too much.

June 6, 2018

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I wasn’t kind, but I wasn’t unkind either. I wasn’t anything I guess. I wasn’t anything to anyone at all. I was nothing, a sort of non-being and I just wanted to fall asleep during the day. I let my face drown in the darkness of the pillow and tried to think that it was already night. I was in so much hopelessness. I literally couldn’t walk. I had this body that I needed to clean, feed and control but just thinking about those things made me feel very tired.

I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction, page 25