Self-destruction could also mean that you’re trying to be happy, productive and “being there for people” all the time. Happiness is good, but there’s beauty in giving yourself a warm cry every once in a while when things feel too much. Productivity is good, but there’s beauty in giving yourself a leisurely break from routine when you feel the need to restore your balance by taking a step back. Being there for people is good, but there’s beauty in allowing yourself to say “no” when you already have enough things that your mind, body, and soul can handle. Self-care is the thing that allows you to shine, to sparkle and to glow without you ever having to burn out by means of overexertion.
I know that a forest is made up of individual trees, but when I look at a forest, all I see is a forest. And that’s pretty much the same when it comes to my outlook in life. I just look at the bigger picture and summarize everything I see with pure feeling and intuition. Because I learned that when I try to make sense with tiny details of information—it kills me. And it’s really a challenge for me to live in a world filled with so much logic and explanation that it kills my own morals and perspectives in life—which gives life for me less meaning and beauty whenever I am faced with its harsh realities. Because sometimes I forget that bad things happen in this world whenever I think of it as a place filled with love and beauty.
If I fail to be happy with myself that doesn’t mean I’m a negative person. I’m kind, I’m warm, and I’m aware of the places in me that needs a little more work. I just get a little bit sad sometimes for no reason at all, but you still can be happy with me. I’m still me despite my depression.
Sometimes it takes just 5 minutes to practice being kind. Tell your mother “I love you” just because she deserves to hear those words. Pick up the phone and call your grandmother and ask her how she is feeling nowadays. Make a cup of coffee for your father despite the way he disapproves of the career path you’re taking. Give your dog a belly rub and surprise him with some extra biscuits or simply smile at anyone who looks like they’re having a bad day. Spreading love, warmth, and positivity towards others doesn’t seem to take too much from you so why not make it a lifestyle to make some small ephermal moments that reminds someone that everything is going to be okay.