Don’t worry too much about blooming late in life, my friend. As late bloomers, we ourselves understand that great things take time. We tend to learn from the experiences of others who’ve bloomed so early in life in order for us to make the right choices and in order for us to avoid making the wrong ones. We tend to appreciate our milestones more for the very reason that we ourselves know that life is not a race. Life is about focusing on the progress we make on our own fucking pace for we weren’t born to fit in—we were born for the sole purpose of blooming patiently, gracefully and without a doubt—brilliantly. So be brave, my friend and be your own kind of magic.
Healing is not always soft clothes, a bubble bath with scented candles, acoustic music, and black coffee. Sometimes healing is boring. Sometimes healing is sleeping early, taking your medications at the right prescribed time, cleaning your room, taking mindful afternoon walks and meditating at least ten minutes per day.
Healing is not always a magical moment you get from watching a Ted talk or reading an online self-help article. Sometimes healing isn’t glamorous. Sometimes healing is simply doing the boring work that takes daily practice, self-control, and strong commitment because it’s not something that happens overnight. Sometimes you simply have to take a step back and cleanse yourself from technology every once in a while and discover parts of yourself that you can cultivate into helping you survive that next panic attack.
Healing is not always as exciting as looking at the stars but focusing on your progress and making serious efforts in taking care of yourself as you remember to breathe will eventually lead you to a place where you can find some beauty in your road to recovery.
Nobody ever says that, that those who fear falling in love have this tendency to be more affectionate and nurturing and gentle lovers. It’s not the fear of “falling in love” that they’re actually afraid of but the fear of “being in love.” The fear of being somewhere they’ve always wanted and the fear of not being worthy enough of it.
The truth about love is that it’s both energizing and draining. It makes you better, and sometimes it makes you worse. It allows you to breathe and all of the sudden it suffocates you. It feels sad, and in the end, it’s the thing that keeps you going. It’s the thing that you should never ever give up on.
Make self-care a weekly task. Don’t save it for times when you’re already burned out. Schedule it. Prioritize it. And most important of all, look forward to it as you go through the daily grind of life. Doesn’t it make the work feel better when you know that tomorrow you’ll be watching a new episode of a TV series that you’re starting to love? Doesn’t it make the stress feel lighter when you know that a week from now you’re going to the movies with someone you love? A massage salon? Or just eating fast food at an empty parking lot with a friend? Life is about getting excited about things that make you feel good because when you don’t then it’ll get dull, boring and depressing. So keep planning things that will make you excited to get through this day. Prioritize self-care at least once a week, a couple of days a month. Your soul will thank you for it because it will be so healthy with the things it’s looking forward to that you will be less sad. That’s what excitement is about: getting less sad and having more space to breathe, love and live.
Travel, adventure, a close circle of friends you consider family are very important for your mental health. Even if it’s just a walk at the park, watching the movies or a night drive with your closest friend, binge watching netflix with your favorite cousin or even accompanying your mother to the grocery store and talk about life, sadness, and bittersweet memories. These little things matter very much to remind you fiercely that you are not alone and that you are loved.
“But how can we heal with all these tragedies flowing in our blood?” She asked.
“We don’t,” I replied as I held her hand. “The reality of life is that some storms end while some storms don’t. Some dark clouds will follow us all our lives. Dark clouds that remind us of our failures, our inner mental demons and our powerlessness over some things that make it extremely difficult to get on with everyday life.”
“So how can we survive?”
“We survive in moments. Moments when someone who we genuinely care for gives us a glimpse of their own darkness, and that’s when we begin to remember that there’s light, so much light to be found in revealing our own darkness to someone who chooses to embrace it.”