It’s okay if there are days in your life when all you can handle to do is take a shower, play video games and watch films. It also happens to me sometimes when life gets too much. I just leave all the dishes in the sink and leave the flowers outside my garden unwatered hoping that it will just rain.
It’s okay if there are mornings in your life when you just can’t get out of bed. Sometimes we need a day off from being strong. Sometimes we need to cry it all out to ourselves when all we have is ourselves to feel sorry for ourselves. And that’s not entirely wrong despite most of us being dead to self-pity because it reveals narcissism in its most primary form. Sometimes self-pity could be in fact the most important emotion to feel when it comes to being depressed because it tells us that life is in truth hard in so many ways. And yet it tells us that we are still lovely despite all of our imperfections and despite being misunderstood by so many people.
It’s okay if there are evenings in your life when you just want to end it all. Sometimes feeling suicidal is just a way that we cope with the realities of existence. Sometimes feeling suicidal for me is an escape when I see no light at the end of the tunnel because the thought of suicide sometimes is the only thing that gets me through bad days knowing that I can do it but not really do it. Sometimes feeling suicidal is just a way that I am because I am afraid to live because I do not have everything that I want and I am horribly limited.
It’s okay if there are times in your life when you just say “fuck it, I’m going to live despite everything that’s giving me every reason to die.”
It’s okay if you go through all of it alone.
Not every morning is a blessing for me. Some mornings I wake up with no hope, peace or love. Just a sense of dread that I am still alive in this goddamn world.