Watching My Father Grow Up

dad-and-son

Fatherhood is not synonymous with workaholism, it’s simply having enough money to send your kids to school, going to the movies every weekend and keeping the refrigerator full enough to have three meals a day. Fatherhood is not a right to force your children to believe in a religion you want them to follow as they mature, it’s simply teaching your children to be respectful, honest and kind. Fatherhood is not a privilege to punish your sons for not being masculine enough, it’s simply accepting that some boys have a strong feminine side that makes them write poetry, cry over sunsets and one day turn into men with softness in their hearts. These are the things my dear father had to learn for so many years, and I can somehow see that it has slowly turned his heart into a garden—gently reminding me sometimes that he has changed.

4 thoughts on “Watching My Father Grow Up

  1. A very honest post as always and one that hits close to home for me also.

    As very small children our father was fun and present. It was the age where we were toddlers and just kids not “little girls”.

    Then he withdrew. It was clear we were not sons so his role was now “done”. I felt we lost a father and gained an awkward stranger who taught his mates sons to fish and ignored us girls.

    As an adult I started to realise it wasn’t a lack of care but that he just didn’t know HOW to act. And it went both ways… He didn’t try so we didn’t either. Slowly we began to attempt to talk simply as people.

    As a parent myself now I forgive. Yes it hurt. Yes the impact is lasting. But I see my own shortcomings and failures with my children and know I am trying and how deeply I love them even if I am a mess.

    It helps to remind myself my father is trying his best but has faults as I do.

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    • Thank you so much for reading this prose Nat. 🙂 I truly do appreciate your insights. 🙂 I’m still in the process of forgiving my father but in time I guess the tension will lessen and everything will be okay. 🙂

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