My Beloved’s Birthday

Camille's Birthday

Three things I believe are worth a thousand words: A smile, a kiss, and a picture.

She makes me feel alive, and she’s the person who encourages me to keep on living. She makes me feel loved and she’s the person who inspires me to find ways to keep on healing.

I’m afraid of turning twenty-two, and there’s a darkness inside of me that says twenty-one years of existence is enough. There’s no need to suffer further anymore, but then I’d be thinking maybe I’ll survive if I choose to remain patient because maybe there’s a miracle that’s waiting for me in the future.

In the past, I was a very futuristic person with a lot of hope and dreams and chased magic every chance that I get, but here I am now with a lot of broken memories and doubts.Β 

It will be Christmas soon, and despite many saying that depression rises on December but paradoxically suicide rates drop as well, it’s still my favorite season of the year. And I feel like she’s my Christmas and she’s the light inside of me that I will always treasure and feel grateful for.Β 

She’s the light that I am always seeking in times when all I can think of is to end it all.

Advertisements

7 thoughts on “My Beloved’s Birthday

  1. Remember, only while you are alive happiness is a possibility. Death comes eventually and we don’t know what comes next. We can’t be sure. But even if it is release it’ll last eternally. So living some more gives you the opportunity of happiness and death will still be an eternity, no matter if u die now or in 50years

    Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.