I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction


For those who feel suicidal, alone, destructive, broken, tired, lost, depressed, existential anxiety, pessimistic, detached from reality, sadly in love and the meaninglessness of human existence. This book is for you and me and for everyone who’s searching for survival, healing, recovery, and understanding.

I hope this poetry collection gives you the hope that you deserve. I hope this poetry collection brings out the dreamer that’s within your tender soul. I hope this poetry collection touches your heart in some way and encourage you to live your life despite the suffering because suicide is not a choice and there’s nothing selfish about wanting to end everything and all I’m simply saying is that you deserve to be okay and sometimes that’s better than happiness. 

Truthfully, I myself am not yet completely recovered, and I still feel suicidal sometimes, and it’s a very dark place to be in and I want you to know that I created this collection inside that very dark place and I still want to live because I choose to believe that I am loved even if I don’t matter much at all as a person. I choose to believe that I am loved and that matters. 🙂

I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction is available on Amazon. For every review, I promise to dedicate a piece of writing to you. 🙂

You can purchase the book here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1721578641 

For Goodreads users, you can leave a rating/review here: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40603073-i-am-the-architect-of-my-own-destruction 

I am deeply grateful for your support in this dark piece of my soul. 🙂

I wish you all hope, love, and healing. ✿ 


21 thoughts on “I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction

  1. That’s raw and painful, and brilliant! It’s hard to recover and overcome the wish to fade, and even harder to accept the fact that you do matter. It’s a struggle, and bravery to admit it; to chose the “hard way” – no words are beautiful or strong enough to describe how amazing you are for doing this.
    Best wishes,

    Liked by 1 person

    • I was also admitted last year too for a month & a half because of a suicide attempt. You can read about: https://lonelyblueboy.wordpress.com/2017/08/04/my-experience-in-a-mental-health-facility/ 🙂 And thank you so much. ❤❤❤ It really means a lot and it would be very kind of you to message me once you’re done reading it and leave a review. 🙂 You can add me on my personal Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/juansenrynedizon

      Liked by 1 person

      • Unfortunately, I am not on social media. I will leave a review and let you know somehow once I’ve finished. Thank you for your posts. I am not one to let myself feel emotions, but now that I’m trying, your writing helps me feel them again! I was just about to write about my experience in a psych ward… what was your experience putting your story on the internet?

        Liked by 1 person

      • That’s okay and thank you so much for leaving a review. 🙂 I appreciate it and I’m really honored to inspire you to feel again because that could be a scary thing sometimes. 🙂 I don’t know. The day after I was discharged I wrote about it and it was very liberating. Haha. 🙂 I hope you’re having a good day / night. ❤ Take it easy on yourself. ❤ Wishing you hope, love, and healing. ✨


  2. I’d like to share a shortened version of one of my poems I wrote regarding this topic-
    |How can someone so young,
Suffer so much,
With reality I’m losing touch.
My hope is drowning in my sorrow,
How can I make it into tomorrow?
My messed up mind is killing me slowly,
My broken heart throbbing painfully,
My body is under so much stress,
This agonizing pain I cannot begin to express.
    @LonelyBlueBoy there was this quote I once heard- “Once you let the darkness in, it never really leaves”. What’s your opinion on it? And if so, is it worth getting better if one will never truly be free of it?
    I just posted a new discussion on my page, regarding darkness&reality and I’d appreciate if you could voice your opinion!
    Cheers, Lizzy 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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