one more hour of a video game.
one more hour of a television series.

one more hour of reading a novel.
one more hour of writing a meaningless poem.

the world is a very terrible place.
and i procrastinate for we’re all just passing time.

my inability to face reality is killing me. 
and i procrastinate for we’re all just passing time.

another drag from my cigarette.
another anti-anxiety pill to numb me from my misery.

another song. another daydream.
but after the temporary my dark thoughts destroy me.

i simply just want to get away from myself. 
but it all ends when i finally stop running away from myself.

i am more than just my temporary distractions.
i am more than just a daydreamer sleeping inside a rabbit hole.

19 thoughts on “escapism

  1. I am so thankful you shared this poem. I am all the time playing video games to cope with my confusing feelings. Before I know it I’ve been playing late into the night (3 am). Thank you for sharing your honest views on what it’s like to need to escape due to depression and anxiety.

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  2. I wanted to comment on your other post but the comments were closed. Therefore I wanted to say the following: I happened upon your blog and love it. As a child & teen trauma survivor, I had depression, severe anxiety, and battled suicidal thoughts for many years. In fact, my first serious attempt was at age 9, my last was at the age of 17 so I clearly understand what you write – both personally and as a 30 year trauma therapist. I think it is great that you share your message in its raw form. In fact, in my autobiographical memoir called “Shattered to Shining”, I talk about the many ways in which anxiety held me prisoner. Anyway, I look forward to reading more of your bare, thought-provoking content.

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