Hello. It’s Sunday today, and I didn’t go to church with my family today because I had a severe panic attack last night. I haven’t eaten since this morning. And I vomited last night’s meal. And I couldn’t stop crying.
Tumblr hasn’t been working for me all day yesterday and today. I e-mailed them about the problem, but they haven’t responded. Maybe they’re doing something about it. Maybe they’re not. A few people are also experiencing it.
But I guess if this is the end of my writing career there then I guess I should accept it even though I have 5k followers there.
I guess the universe pulled the plug for a reason. But I am really devastated right now. I am watching my empire burn.
And I think right now. All I want is a simple life with my mom and the other people that I consider family.
And I’ll just help with the family business in any way that I can. I don’t want to be a burden to my mom. She is the only reason that I haven’t killed myself because I know that she loves me. And I really love her as well.
So yeah. I still have a poetry book to self-publish regardless of everything burning. And I’m dedicating it to my mom. The person who took good care of me. The person who really understands my mental illness. And I don’t really mind if it’s only me who buys my book.
It would be for my own hope to live.