“It means you know what I’m gonna do, I’m gonna take all this negativity and use it as fuel and I’m gonna find a silver lining, that’s what I’m gonna do. And that’s no bullshit. That’s no bullshit. That takes work and that’s the truth.” (Pat, Silver Linings Playbook)
With all these negativity inside my head from yesterday’s post, my foggy brain remembered a word, a line, a motto from one of my favorite movies, Silver Linings Playbook.
“Excelsior” would now be my new life motto and it means finding a silver lining despite being in the state of negativity.
So using all my negativity as my fuel would make sense since negativity is what makes most of my poetry, short stories, and eventually, my novel. And maybe that’s the silver lining there, the happiness that comes with the process and product of my writing. The happiness that comes with being a writer!
And these other silver linings:
- How my suicidal thoughts are just chemically induced thoughts because of my depression and how it can inspire me to simply live.
- How having only one real friend is still something because a real friend is hard to find and how having only one real friend is better than having so many fake friends.
- How my insomnia and lack of attention are just symptoms of my depression and there are medications and treatments for these symptoms.
- How my looks are just my looks and I look okay and all of it won’t matter when I finally meet the girl who shares the same imperfections that I currently have.
- How I can be pissed with my psychiatrist for not knowing what I think I need but then again they’re the experts and I trust them with what they do, and as a patient, all I can do is follow what they tell me to do in order for me to be okay.
- How I run every day and I’m contented with that and I don’t need to go to the gym to fulfill my lust to become muscular and hot because (not including my brain) I am completely healthy, and that’s what matters most.
- How I should play the guitar because I want to and it would be better for me to do so because music helped me coped up with life back when I was in high school.
- How I know that whatever the outcome of my novel would be, accepted or rejected by publishing houses, self-published or not, liked or disliked by readers, or even when there would be no readers, it would still be something to be happy about.
- And how I still haven’t really lost my mind, and how it still has some sanity left in it even with my usual or occasional sad thoughts.
- And how my brain is still faithful to me and I just have to understand that it’s not perfect. Like no one is perfect. Like no brain is perfect.
- And how I think I should just think about anything the universe has in store for me and accept it like a happy person with clinical depression.
“And that’s no bullshit. These takes work and that’s the truth.” (Pat, Silver Linings Playbook)