Calculations (A Short Story)

Calculations

A Short Story About OCD

I always wake up at 7:00 am

But I make it a point that I get out of bed at 7:00:59 am

A second before the time reaches 7:01:00 am

This means the universe won’t punish me for being the lazy person that I am

 

So I go downstairs for breakfast

Skipping 2 stair steps at a time

This saves me 15 seconds of my existence

This means the universe would reward me for being a good steward of my time

 

So, as usual, I pour cereals at the blue bowl I use every Friday

I usually pour cereals for 3 seconds

But I’m in a good mood today, so I pour cereals for 4 more seconds, more good luck for me

I can use the extra 15 seconds I saved awhile ago to eat the extra 1 second of poured cereal

 

I shovel through my cereal like there’s no tomorrow

Munching on it three times before I swallow

3 seconds of poured cereal takes me 8 spoons to finish

4 seconds of poured cereal might take me 11 spoons to finish, and I was right like always

 

After breakfast, I wash the dishes for less than 30 seconds

I go and head upstairs to the bathroom, skipping 3 stair steps at a time

This saves me 20 seconds of my existence

This means the universe would reward me for being a good steward of my time

 

So, as usual, I head to the shower and choose the hot temperature like I always do

But I’m in a good mood today, so I choose the extra hot temperature like I rarely do

Little did I know it would hurt me and I feel the boiling water roasting through my flesh

But I wanted this since I’m in a good mood today but it hurts so bad, and I count to ten

 

1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7… 8… 9… 10…

GAAAAAH!

 

I twinge and quickly turn the temperature to cold like I never do

And this doesn’t feel right, it breaks my rule, it’s a sin, maybe it’s fun to sin once in awhile

The cold water did feel good after the sacrifice I’ve made since I’m in a good mood today

This could mean the universe would reward me for being such a persevering person

 

Time for my shower routine.

 

Hair: Wash. Wash. Wash.

Body: Scrub. Scrub. Scrub.

Face: Splash. Splash. Splash.

Teeth: Brush. Brush. Brush.

 

I like doing things three times, I strive for perfection.

 

I quickly get out of the bathroom like I always do

And it does feel right, it follows my rule, I’m forgiven of the sin I committed awhile ago

I use the blue towel I use every Friday

And I get ready for jogging

 

To Be Continued.